Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
