Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
