Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
