I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
