these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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