Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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