Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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