that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
