Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
