you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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