are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
