I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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