I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
