I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
