i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize