Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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