I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
