the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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