you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
