I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize