I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
