so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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