did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
