i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
