You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
