Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
