Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
