the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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