thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize