We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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