Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize