It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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