Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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