There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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