I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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