You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
