called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
