Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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