Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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