Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
