It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
