I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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