Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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