Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
