Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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