she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize