I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
