just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
