when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
