i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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