i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
