shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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