I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
