So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
