so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
