shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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