i can't believe i had my finger in that
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You are a genius and a whore.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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